Brief Overview of the Same-sex
Marriage Issue in Maine
Most voters and policy makers in Maine do not understand what is really at stake in the debate over legalizing same-sex marriage in our state. Too many believe that the debate over legalizing same-sex marriage is based simply on competing values, moral or religious-based opposition by one side versus the assertion of such values as “equality” or “tolerance” by the other. This is simply not the case.
Instead, the debate is much broader. It is really about the future of our society, and especially about the kind of society we will pass on to future generations. In considering whether to legalize same-sex marriage, it is essential that every Maine resident understand that an overwhelmingly convincing case to preserve marriage as only the union of a man and a woman and oppose legalizing same-sex marriage can be made entirely on the basis of what we have learned from social science research, the lessons of history and the application of just plain Yankee common sense.
The purpose of this site is to help all of us understand what is truly at stake in this debate. It is not just marriage that would be affected. Taking this step would result in many fundamental changes in our state and our society.
In advocating any such radical cultural redirection, the burden of proof that the proposed changes will not result in a net harm to society must rest with those who are advocating the change. The burden is never on those who want to protect and preserve a proven social institution like man/woman marriage. (We have posted here an excellent analysis of why those advocating changing marriage must bear this burden of proof that has been prepared by the Vermont Marriage Advisory Council.)
It is one of the goals of the Marriage Facts Maine coalition to make sure that they in fact bear this burden of proof.
Marriage between a man and a woman is a time-tested social institution that has been proven to provide important and essential benefits to society that cannot be provided as well, if at all, by any other means. In understanding why this is so, it is essential to understand that marriage is mostly about children, not adults. Every successful society must be concerned about its children because they literally are the future of that society. What is best for children is best for society.
The clear lesson of millennia of human history across every culture is that man/woman marriage is an essential foundation for healthy families, the basic unit of every society. In recent decades, social science research and other scholarship has verified what societies throughout history have learned from practical experience. Children do best on any and all measures of welfare when they are raised by their married biological parents. Period. Promoting and protecting man/woman marriage is the way that society protects and perpetuates itself. Anything that threatens or undermines this critical social institution threatens society. One of the most serious threats is confusing the rising generation about what marriage is and why it is important. Since it is a biological reality that same-sex couples cannot produce children, to allow same-sex individuals to marry inevitably will lead to that confusion. It is the most radical redefinition of the concept of marriage that can be imposed.
With this understanding of the role of marriage in our society, it is easy to also understand how radically changing the current understanding marriage as only between a man and a woman to “genderless marriage” inevitably will have major impacts on society. We can determine that most of these impacts will be overwhelmingly negative and result in net harm to society.
It is also easy to understand why there is no “right” to marry, either a civil right or a right as a matter of fairness. Societies have always regulated for the benefit of society who could marry and even how marriages come about. Brothers and sisters cannot marry, for example. In many societies, marriages are still arranged, a mechanism that these societies have found to be beneficial to them. Nor is marriage mostly about love. We cannot marry just anyone just because we love them.
Finally, realizing the fundamental role of marriage as a social institution understood and shared by all the members of a society, it is clear that the impact changing the definition of marriage would have will take a generation or two to fully manifest themselves. It has only been about eight years since the Netherlands, the first country to legalize same-sex marriage, took that step. Anyone who claims that “the sky has not fallen” because same-sex marriage has already been legalized somewhere (such as Massachusetts) is either displaying their own ignorance about how societies function or is attempting to mislead others who don’t understand basic social dynamics.
A more detailed discussion of some of these issues is posted here. Other information to help you understand what is at stake is posted on our “additional resources” page.